tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60970838502499048292024-02-20T15:15:10.979-08:00Every word feels like a shooting starAnd I'm telling you... story of my life..http://www.blogger.com/profile/13631152908142475904noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097083850249904829.post-89037899036581173362011-03-20T13:17:00.000-07:002011-03-20T13:21:55.519-07:00And I look again towards the sky as the raindrops mix with the tears I cry<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-tjxyqmaKmww/TYZe5k6qawI/AAAAAAAAAEw/GdspLbuxSdI/s1600/tumblr_l5ipyz5FcH1qbcrgio1_500_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-tjxyqmaKmww/TYZe5k6qawI/AAAAAAAAAEw/GdspLbuxSdI/s200/tumblr_l5ipyz5FcH1qbcrgio1_500_large.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">These moments when I wish I had that warmth. That person I can turn to for comfort, advice, and hope. That person who would sit beside me and listen to me ramble on about everything I am feeling without feeling bothered or tired of hearing me. That person who would take my hand and give it a little squeeze of reassurance to tell me they are here for me. That person who would give me the warmest hug I could ever ask for to soothe my pain. I really need that kind of person in my life, which I can trust with all of this drama in my life. Who could stand beside me and offer me strength, comfort, and trust. It is lonely not having anyone to turn to and know that they will be there for me.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-1gN81kaTMQE/TYZhl1Y7LUI/AAAAAAAAAE0/7eWUbkVcwGY/s1600/tumblr_lhd3jbKoui1qcnhhzo1_500_large.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="110" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-1gN81kaTMQE/TYZhl1Y7LUI/AAAAAAAAAE0/7eWUbkVcwGY/s200/tumblr_lhd3jbKoui1qcnhhzo1_500_large.gif" width="200" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">Everyone is busy with their own lives and drama and I cannot burden them with mine. My closest friends are far away and talking on the phone is not the answer I seek. I need someone here, present, and strong to be there for me. I need someone I can lean on in moments like this. Sometimes being strong and independent doesn’t work. Sometimes we all need to rely on someone else to be strong for us, and for me I could really use that kind of person in my life. I have so many things I want to say, that are burrowed deep inside of me but there is no one to tell these stories to. So all I can do is write it out, and hope that I will be released even just a little bit from these tormented thoughts.</span></span>..http://www.blogger.com/profile/13631152908142475904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097083850249904829.post-25765434926472410482011-03-19T11:49:00.000-07:002011-03-19T11:54:36.280-07:00Because nobody goes through life without a scar<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ghu5GbBZ6dA/TYT6MFj6AHI/AAAAAAAAAEk/OIwjNHKSl1E/s1600/tumblr_li5p32a0Ck1qeodkfo1_500_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ghu5GbBZ6dA/TYT6MFj6AHI/AAAAAAAAAEk/OIwjNHKSl1E/s200/tumblr_li5p32a0Ck1qeodkfo1_500_large.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don’t. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut’s long gone, the pain still lingers.</span></span>..http://www.blogger.com/profile/13631152908142475904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097083850249904829.post-17742711131922774032011-03-19T02:48:00.000-07:002011-03-19T02:48:59.396-07:00Truth<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">The truth is painful. Deep down, nobody wants to hear it, especially when it hits close. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can’t help ourselves. Sometimes, we tell them because we owe them at least that much.</span></span>..http://www.blogger.com/profile/13631152908142475904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097083850249904829.post-58544603571328409662011-03-16T23:42:00.000-07:002011-03-20T13:17:49.864-07:00Hope is a walking dream<div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-4sy_8UQRTwM/TYGs2qKZ5nI/AAAAAAAAAEg/CRfGaqxJZTM/s1600/tumblr_lbzi5xU0Y91qeo4rfo1_500_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-4sy_8UQRTwM/TYGs2qKZ5nI/AAAAAAAAAEg/CRfGaqxJZTM/s200/tumblr_lbzi5xU0Y91qeo4rfo1_500_large.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; text-decoration: none;">You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"></span></div>..http://www.blogger.com/profile/13631152908142475904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097083850249904829.post-91824980533511700802011-02-20T00:16:00.000-08:002011-03-16T12:03:45.983-07:00Stay - Be the One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0G79-ylX4KE/TWDNIDW2BsI/AAAAAAAAAEE/rpp86dDQETA/s1600/tumblr_l2fprjGKRv1qbsi55o1_500_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0G79-ylX4KE/TWDNIDW2BsI/AAAAAAAAAEE/rpp86dDQETA/s200/tumblr_l2fprjGKRv1qbsi55o1_500_large.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #d5a6bd;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">We look at each other wondering what the other is thinking but we never say a thing. The smile on your face lets me know that you need me. There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me. The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall. You say it best when you say nothing at all. But when I look at you my heart skips a beat but later that beat could mean a lifetime of tears wasted on something I knew I could never have.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #d5a6bd;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z4pVtaFVvSI/TWDL5tWga7I/AAAAAAAAAD4/MiDf99fq8jM/s1600/tumblr_lctwux9hP21qbo3bfo1_500_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z4pVtaFVvSI/TWDL5tWga7I/AAAAAAAAAD4/MiDf99fq8jM/s200/tumblr_lctwux9hP21qbo3bfo1_500_large.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">So take a look at me now because there's just an empty space. There's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face. It's a fall that i won't get up from and i hope they were right because this is the first time in a long time that i felt out of place. Invincible? I pretend to be. Vulnerable? That's what I truly am. Happiness? Not a part of my vocabulary. Pain...That's all life has to offer. <span class="body">It sometimes feels like a strange movie, you know, it's all so weird that sometimes I wonder if it is really happening. </span></span> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.quotesdaddy.com/quote/1129165/meredith-grey/you-know-how-when-you-were-a-little-kid-and-you-believed"> </a></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.quotesdaddy.com/quote/1129165/meredith-grey/you-know-how-when-you-were-a-little-kid-and-you-believed"> </a></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4lngGPPa-1Q/TWDJPYzIt1I/AAAAAAAAAD0/kDZF-WyWks8/s1600/20951_362141480680_362139735680_5290899_5684545_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div>..http://www.blogger.com/profile/13631152908142475904noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097083850249904829.post-66135631967144743062011-02-19T10:56:00.000-08:002011-03-16T12:05:40.441-07:00I'm broken, when I'm lonesome<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cgubn9Gx6a8/TWAP20ucgxI/AAAAAAAAADo/Mf_xmmeCGDk/s1600/m162518461_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="137" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cgubn9Gx6a8/TWAP20ucgxI/AAAAAAAAADo/Mf_xmmeCGDk/s200/m162518461_large.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">The</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">truth</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">is I</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">do not</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">want</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">to be alone</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">. </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">I am</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">completely</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">dependent</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">and</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">needy</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">. </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">I'm afraid</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">, </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">I’m</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">scared</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">. </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">I'm</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">lost</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">. </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">My</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">body</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">remains same</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">on 24 hours a</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">day</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">, </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">7 days</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">a week</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">, </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">the same</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">way:</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">racing heart</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">, </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">stomach</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">plunging</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">, </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">chest tightness</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">, shortness </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">of</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">breath</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">, lump </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">in</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">throat</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">and</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">brain</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">concentrate</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">on</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">one</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">thing</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">only</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">. </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">Stay</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">nervous</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">all the time</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">, sensitive </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">to</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">the verge of tears</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">, </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">preventing</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">myself</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">to</span></span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="hps" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">feel happy. </span></span><span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">I'm so tired but I can't sleep, standing on the edge of something much too deep. Funny how I feel so much but cannot say a word, I am screaming inside but can't be heard.</span><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span> </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q8R11niOPO8/TWAQIH_PFzI/AAAAAAAAADs/Z0a5pJobBaA/s1600/tumblr_le29ssWeeR1qbuk8fo1_400_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q8R11niOPO8/TWAQIH_PFzI/AAAAAAAAADs/Z0a5pJobBaA/s200/tumblr_le29ssWeeR1qbuk8fo1_400_large.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="longtext" style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">Wish I did not know what I'm talking about, but unfortunately I know it too well. How many fights at home, waste of opportunities, cold in the stomach, smiles and tears. You end up living two lives, one of the Internet and non-virtual, in the end MSN and Facebook are real, not school nor friends. </span></span><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>..http://www.blogger.com/profile/13631152908142475904noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097083850249904829.post-88112375656057499122011-02-19T01:57:00.000-08:002011-03-16T12:06:14.765-07:00Concern Fear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aeGDBhLFD6o/TV-S433FCzI/AAAAAAAAADY/uhpCtLMS0UE/s1600/tumblr_lg88cdAA3R1qgw2qgo1_500_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="131" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aeGDBhLFD6o/TV-S433FCzI/AAAAAAAAADY/uhpCtLMS0UE/s200/tumblr_lg88cdAA3R1qgw2qgo1_500_large.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="color: #d5a6bd;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-style: normal; line-height: 115%;">Not that i am the best friend to the world, but tried. Tired of doing everything for someone and not having at least consideration in return. Tired of hearing advice, assist, and then be stabbed in the back. </span></i></span><span class="hps" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">I read</span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">the same</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">words,</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">did</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">the same</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">things</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">,</span> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">I reacted</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">in the same ways</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">,</span> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">I felt</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">the</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">same</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">feelings</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">. </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">What seemed</span></span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">to be</span></span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">the beginning -</span></span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">or</span></span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">rather</span></span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">start</span></span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">-</span></span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">ended up being</span></span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">the</span></span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">end</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">.</span></span></span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">I</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">fell into</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">a</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">web of lies</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">,</span> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">jealousy</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> and lack</span> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">of love</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">.</span> </span><span class="hps" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">Call it</span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">naivety</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">,</span> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">stupidity</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">or</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">even</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">yourself.</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><i><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-style: normal; line-height: 115%;">I never, ever treated someone like that with such disregard. I do not know if that anger and sorrow will pass because i can't judge. And it hurts more than anything else, because i always thought that disappointment is the worst pain and disappointment in friendship that can hurt more that heartbreak. As if I could wait a lot, and barely made half a year and i might consider this friendship coexistence. Once again i am falling. </span></i><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">And</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">it would be</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">stupid to</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">let</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">this</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">disappointment</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">take</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">care of everything and</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">stop</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">time</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">. </span></span><span class="hps" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">The</span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">fact</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">that I</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">learned</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">at great cost</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">, is</span> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">that</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">the</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">clock is ticking</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">,</span> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">and</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">perhaps</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> <span title="Click for alternate translations">there are </span></span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">even</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">better</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">things</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> <span title="Click for alternate translations">to that is </span></span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">not</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> <span title="Click for alternate translations">to </span></span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">go back</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">to that place</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> as that </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">may not</span></span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">be the</span></span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">right</span></span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">place</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">.</span> </span></span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">And I</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">'m sure</span> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">that</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">this</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">time</span></span><span class="longtext"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">,</span> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">life</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">will</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">not</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">follow</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">the same</span></span></span><span class="longtext" style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span class="hps"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; line-height: 115%;">path.</span></span></span></div>..http://www.blogger.com/profile/13631152908142475904noreply@blogger.com0