Sunday, 20 March 2011
And I look again towards the sky as the raindrops mix with the tears I cry
These moments when I wish I had that warmth. That person I can turn to for comfort, advice, and hope. That person who would sit beside me and listen to me ramble on about everything I am feeling without feeling bothered or tired of hearing me. That person who would take my hand and give it a little squeeze of reassurance to tell me they are here for me. That person who would give me the warmest hug I could ever ask for to soothe my pain. I really need that kind of person in my life, which I can trust with all of this drama in my life. Who could stand beside me and offer me strength, comfort, and trust. It is lonely not having anyone to turn to and know that they will be there for me.
Everyone is busy with their own lives and drama and I cannot burden them with mine. My closest friends are far away and talking on the phone is not the answer I seek. I need someone here, present, and strong to be there for me. I need someone I can lean on in moments like this. Sometimes being strong and independent doesn’t work. Sometimes we all need to rely on someone else to be strong for us, and for me I could really use that kind of person in my life. I have so many things I want to say, that are burrowed deep inside of me but there is no one to tell these stories to. So all I can do is write it out, and hope that I will be released even just a little bit from these tormented thoughts.