Saturday, 19 February 2011

I'm broken, when I'm lonesome

 The truth is I do not want to be alone. I am completely dependent and needy. I'm afraid, I’m scared. I'm lost. My body remains same on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the same way: racing heart, stomach plunging, chest tightness, shortness of breath, lump in throat and brain concentrate on one thing only. Stay nervous all the time, sensitive to the verge of tears, preventing myself to feel happy.                                                                     I'm so tired but I can't sleep, standing on the edge of something much too deep. Funny how I feel so much but cannot say a word, I am screaming inside but can't be heard.                                                                    
Wish I did not know what I'm talking about, but unfortunately I know it too well.  How many fights at home, waste of opportunities, cold in the stomach, smiles and tears. You end up living two lives, one of the Internet and non-virtual, in the end MSN and Facebook are real, not school nor friends. 

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